


distract our hearts (from ever missing them)

by premixed



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-06
Updated: 2014-09-06
Packaged: 2018-02-16 09:29:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2264568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/premixed/pseuds/premixed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They're here to scratch an itch, and that's all at the end of the day. Or so Mark tells himself. Which is fine, until things change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	distract our hearts (from ever missing them)

**Author's Note:**

> written for round 2 of understeers.

Mark's not expecting the call. He and Sebastian rarely talk on the phone, because, at the end of the day, they're not in this... this  _thing_  they have to have deep and meaningful conversations. They're here to scratch an itch, and that's all at the end of the day.  
  
Mark forgets exactly when it started. Sometime before Turkey, before their relationship as teammates began to unravel. Long enough that everything gets tangled up in his mind, that he can't think of Sebastian without thinking of the way he looks in Mark's bed. It doesn't – didn't – change anything on track. It just makes Mark's head an interesting place to be at the best of times.  
  
Ann knows, and according to Seb, Hanna knows too. Mark doesn't know what Sebastian's told her – he doesn't care either when it comes down to it – but Hanna never says anything, never even gives him a dirty look. Mark doesn't dwell on it. Not much anyway.  
  
But it's just sex between them. Nothing more, nothing less. Taking their aggression out on each other in bed (or against a wall, or in the shower, or over a desk) and not on track. It keeps Christian happy, it satisfies both Sebastian and Mark. It's win-win.  
  
So it comes as a shock when Sebastian announces: 'I can't do this anymore.' The words sound rehearsed and hurried, as if he needs to get it all out as soon as possible. 'We – we have to stop.' Mark's stunned into silence, and Sebastian takes that as an invitation to continue. 'It was okay before, but... The baby. I'm going to propose to her. But I can't do that and carry on with this.'  
  
Mark manages to find his tongue. 'Slow down, what? Baby?' He's somewhat distantly aware that his voice sounds cold, but he could care less what Sebastian thinks of his reaction.  
  
There's a pause, then an embarrassed laugh. 'Hanna's pregnant. The baby is due in January.'  
  
It's December. It doesn't take a genius to do the math. 'How long have you known about this, Seb?'  
  
There's no answer.  
  
Mark doesn't say anything either, just hangs up the phone.  
  


-

  
When it comes down to it, Mark's no-strings-attached, no feelings involved thing with Sebastian is the second longest relationship he's had. Jenson always took the piss out of him mercilessly for it, despite how much Jenson seems to genuinely like Sebastian.  
  
Mark's not sure how Jenson worked it out, but nobody else seems to have caught on. Which is a bloody relief really, because Mark's not sure there's a driver on the grid who isn't a huge gossip. And he's even more grateful that he's not going to be in F1 next year.  
  
It means nobody's going to ask him how he feels about all this. He's not going to have to sit through any press conferences while Sebastian goes on and on about how wonderful his child is.  
  
It means Mark doesn't have to see Sebastian.  
  
In a strange way, Mark misses even that. It takes him by surprise, the way Sebastian's managed to get under his skin, even further than Mark ever realised was possible.  
  


-

  
Mark resolves not to think of Sebastian, throwing himself into training, spending time with Ann and the dogs, reminding himself of all the things he had before Sebastian stumbled into his life. It doesn't help, exactly, but it dulls the pain somewhat: instead of a raw wound, it's down to a persistent bruise.  
  
Sebastian, to his credit, doesn't try and contact Mark again. It could just be that he's wrapped up with his own life, what with the baby and preparations for the upcoming season, but Mark decides to give him the benefit of the doubt. Jenson's obviously rubbing off on him, he thinks with a roll of his eyes. But it's true that while Sebastian is undeniably a dick at the best of times, he's still got some vague grasp on the rules of human interaction.  
  
Sometimes, maybe. Usually when he's nowhere near a car.  
  
And of course, just when Mark kind of makes his peace with everything, he winds up sitting at the same table as Sebastian at some sponsors do.  
  
As the saying goes, if Mark didn't have bad luck... And well, the rest of that goes without saying.  
  
Sebastian looks as awkward as Mark feels, but they manage to make it through the evening without any major calamities. When the night's winding down, Sebastian clears his throat. 'I'd like to talk to you if... if it's okay?'  
  
Mark toys with the idea of making Sebastian sweat it out – god only knows that he deserves it – but he relents after a moment or two. 'Sure. But we probably shouldn't do it here.'  
  
Sebastian trails after him, pausing to exchange pleasantries with people as he passes. It means Mark's left waiting for a few minutes, but on the other hand, it makes the whole thing look a little less suspicious. Christian does catch Mark's eye though, and tries to convey something through some complicated eyebrow semaphore. Mark thinks it probably means 'Please don't cause a scene and/or injure Sebastian.' Mark's definitely seen that one before.  
  
Sebastian clears his throat as he approaches Mark, looking a little apprehensive. Mark rolls his eyes. 'I'm not going to punch you. Not unless you decide to be a dick again.'  
  
Sebastian laughs, sounding a little surprised. 'Hey, don't blame me for being careful,' he says, sidling a little closer to Mark. 'But I wouldn't blame you. I was... Well. Kind of a dick.'  
  
'Kind of. Understatement.' Mark feels absurdly pleased when Sebastian laughs again, and looks away, out into the night. 'You planning on telling me  _why_  you didn't tell me earlier.'  
  
Out of the corner of his eye, he says Sebastian pull a face. 'It was the middle of the season. If I'd told you, you'd complained I was trying to put you off the races. And... Well, I didn't think it mattered that much.'  
  
 _I didn't think this mattered that much to you_  are the words that Sebastian is clearly not saying. Mark appreciates that, but it doesn't really change anything.  
  
'I wanted to tell you before I actually proposed to her. I wanted you to hear it from me. But...' Sebastian sighs, wrapping his arms around himself. 'This was always going to be the way it happened. She said she didn't mind, but I'm away from her too much as it is.'  
  
Mark can't think of any words to say. It's probably the most they've ever spoken about... all of this. Feelings, relationships. Sebastian means well, but in some ways he's still the same guy who concentrates on the things closest to him first.  
  
Neither of them expected this. It's not entirely Sebastian's fault, Mark supposes. This was never meant to be more than just sex.  
  
'Don't sweat it. But don't be surprised when I'm telling everybody I want Dan to win.'  
  
'I wouldn't expect anything less,' Sebastian tells him with a surprisingly sweet smile. The relief is evident in the lines of his body, and Mark realises Sebastian was clearly expecting this to go worse. Suddenly, everything is a little too much for Mark.  
  
'Go home, congratulate your fiancée.' Mark makes a show of stretching, before walking a few steps. 'I'll see you around.'  
  
Sebastian nods, but doesn't say anything else.  
  
It's not that it doesn't hurt anymore, but it's more as if the bruise is healing a little, doesn't stretch down so far. They're never going to be friends, but things are somewhat better.  
  
All Mark has to do is distract himself until the bruise fully heals.


End file.
